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Secondary Gain. Why you can’t change.

Secondary Gain. Why you can’t change.
This may seem a strange idea to newcomers to personal change work, the idea that some part of you wants to keep the problem, up until now. Because it does something for you. It is helping you in some positive way.

Consciously you have chosen to make the changes, and it makes logical sense to you. You know your reasons and the benefits, how your life will change and who will benefit.

You have worked out where you are now and where you will end up, worked out the steps you have to take and what you must do. You have also generated strong positive emotions to get you excited about who you have to become.

You have taken the above steps I trust.

After doing all the above, for some strange reason, your emotions kick in whenever you begin, every time you try and break the old habit and install the new. Your own mind
sabotages and works against you.

You procrastinate and keep putting it off, you find yourself saying negative things about the changes you want to make. You see the excitement about the new you, slowly being eroded. “It’s too hard” “ What's the point” “I can’t” “Nothing seems to work” It will take to long”, “What's the point” All these negative thoughts about something you want to do.

You are talking your self out of it which is after all
It is almost as if you have a self-destructive part that wants to hold you back. This may well be true, some part of your personality and
subconscious mind, really wants to keep this problem and challenge. So logically it must have some use some positive intent to you, for your survival at the moment.

So what the hell is going on?
Secondary Gain. Also called “subconscious incongruence”, “writings on your wall”, and “mind farts”. Mostly it is just us listening to our
internal dialogue, the little voices in our heads, that we have never questioned and learn to control.

We are all the results of our past conditioning, the results of our previous experience. We have, or have had behaviours, beliefs, habits, opinions, fantasies and facts about life loaded into us or we have chosen to take onboard for reasons that seemed valid at the time.

As far as our subconscious mind is concerned, these have worked, as we are still alive. So this part of you will need excellent reasons to adopt a new program. That's why unless you are good at hypnosis, energy psychology, NLP or EFT personal change can be difficult.

All those negative thoughts and procrastination and self-sabotage about the changes you want to make are just your mind telling you it has a glitch with this, it’s that simple,

To make quick personal change work and stay with you all you have to do is to get your unconscious mind to your side and understand how these new survival drivers will be an improvement. Easer, faster and more effective.

One of our strongest survival habits is to stay with what is known to us, to stay in our
comfort zones. We tend to do what we have always done. Unless you have the necessary skills and understanding of this. Your own mind will work against you.

It is as if you are using the old operating system in your subconscious mind you need to get the updates. Get the updates.
If you doubt this how often have you found your self-saying
“ I have always been that way.”
“Its just the way I am.”
“I always wanted”
“That's the way I have always done it.”
Many current problems in your life are caused by this.

To this part of your mind, it has excellent reasons to stay that way. Developing self-awareness and understanding and getting the skills and tools necessary will allow you to reprogram your subconscious mind so that it operates in a mode that fully supports what you consciously want.

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