Blame
Blame.We all teach our kids to avoid blaming others for their actions, may years are spend teaching them that if they want a desired result then if they do X then Y may well happen. We also help them to learn that there are consequences for what they do and they must accept the effects they have in the world. How often have you said” well you should not have done it then”? It is all part of being a parent and allowing them to learn how to handle power in the adult world and with that comes responsibility. Healthy and emotionally mature and stable adults never blame others for something that they have done, the embarrassment of others realizing that they are behaving like a four year old would be to much. Our problem usually is that these types of adult children do not possess enough personal insight to realise that those around them realise this. As you can gather they have gone in to stress response and the higher functions of their brain have been shut down and they do not possess the maturity or skills to avoid this happening or the insight to pull themselves out of this state. Your Reptile Brain has taken over and this includes all their earlier subconscious programs. In a way they have regressed back to being a child and dealing with people who are in this state is similar to how you would deal with your own kids if they did this to you. When someone lets go of blame they will also possess other qualities that are vital for a happy, stable, wealthy and exciting life style. Just look at someone you know who just can’t admit they they made the mistake. The people around them are not that happy are they? The adult child has other emotional problems in their life that are messing them up.They see them selves as victims and give power to others for causing all their hardships in life so stress anger and resentment often lay a big part in their lives. This state is a form of psychological damage control that allow them to gain some control through self denial. A real cool side effect is that this state allows the child never to meet any consistent standards for their behavior apart from doing as they want and putting the responsibility for their actions on someone else. A great way to cherry pick your results in the world and if you don’t like the results bury your head in the sands and pass the buck on to some one who will let you do it. It is nice to know that an adult child who excepts no personal responsibility for their actions, choices, decisions, hardships, and screw ups is just making excuses for their own inadequacies and there is no one to blame but them. As this is a very early development program in our subconscious mind as adults we can reprogram our selves and allow this part to evolve and gain some control over our automatic responses.
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