Being a victim
Warwickshire UK Help
Being a victim.
So as not to offend some people this article is not about genuine victims, someone hit by a car or an old age pensioner attacked by a mugger. It is about the others.
In our society, unfortunately the benefits of being a victim are immense. We almost seam to encourage it, and it does have great benefit for our political leaders to allow us to feel that there is nothing we can do about many situations and we must give up personal responsibility for many things.
Our current society supports a victims without much question as to how it all came about in the first place. We don't often ask what was the person doing, thinking or behaving, what could they have done by changing to avoid this situation. What can they do in the future to change.
Because of this many have become very good victims and there is benefits to this form of emotional blackmail and manipulation.
Playing the victim role of "poor me" is great emotional manipulation of others and has huge advantages as it often gets masses of sympathy, pity or compassion, some emotionally immature people do mistake attention for affection, others may encourage it in order to get some form of gain for themselves.
Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation and make life easer.
So what are some of the benefits of playing a victim role and how can you spot someone doing it to you?
You can avoid any form of responsibility for your life or the reality create in our physical, emotional or mental lives. If we have no control and it is always done to you, then it is not our fault, however these kind of people don't often achieve much in life. As they would have to face up to some very powerful possibilities for creating an amazing life. So you can get a lot of self worth by being the victim of other peoples wrong doing.
You can pretend to be lazy and dumb. When you do this many people around you will attempt to help you, so it can be a great way to get people to do things for you, and if you choose your victims well, they will even feel good about doing it and will never suspect you. Victims need victimisers. Otherwise they could not be a victim.
They need reasons to be unhappy or spend some time making things up, that they can use, others around them are to blame. When we want something from someone, we can play on our guilt by making us believe we are at fault for their unhappiness or problems As a result, they gain what they want from others, by making them feel responsible for their reality, and by making themselves seem weak, incapable and in need of help.
So it is very energy efficient and cost effective, they don't have to spend the tens of thousands of hours we do in researching, learning and practising how to be amazing, they also save the thousands of pounds that we spend on an ongoing basis to learn new skills and abilities that we have to.
So they never have to learn and evolve to find nicer ways to get the results they are currently getting. It is for this reason they will often pick on people who are needy and emotionally insecure, people who will feel that they are responsible for someone else's happiness and well being and success.
So to sum up, you may get some very good results by being a victim these can include:
Getting attention, lots of it when you desire and from well meaning souls.
Being honest, you do not have to hide your feelings, sometimes just your intentions.
It takes far less energy, It is cheeper than learning. Less hassle than growing.
You avoid any form of failure as you may consider you already are and no one else will expect you to achieve things.
You have prepared for the worst, and will survive it.
You can enjoy being right most of the time and when you are proven not to be, you can just ignore it.
It means that if you choose you can be left alone. Who the hell wants to be around someone who is always at effect not cause in their own life.
Other people will not often tell you there problems, as you have enough of your own. So you will not have to help others as they will not come to you for advice.
You can avoid all responsibility for bad outcomes and failure. You can avoid all feeling of guilt, blame or responsibility. Pretty cool.
You can draw on others to cheer you up, and give you positive talks, tea and cakes and cuddles.
It is for many of the reasons above that someone so skilled in this art, is very difficult to change. There can be to many benefits to give up.